Ways to distinguish yourself - #36 Reduce the “Facade Diff”
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You may be shocked but you will agree with me if I say that one of the hardest things is to be just yourself.
It’s true. Most of the times we were a mask or a facade to hide who we really are.
A thin mask should be fine to ensure that you are behaving according to
the social norms set by the society. But if the mask makes you a
totally different person than who you really are, we have a problem and
you have a multiple personality disorder
A few years ago I read a phenomenal book called “You are the message”
by a renowned speech coach Roger Ailes (Mr.Ailes was a speech coach for
two past presidents) and the key message of the book was that inorder
to speak well, you need to be yourself. Let me say that we can extend
this further and say that if you need to be successful, you need to be
yourself.
The smaller the difference between who you are without the
mask and who you are with the mask [I call it the "facade diff"] the
more comfortable you are with yourself. Very few people may have the
facade diff set to zero. It may not be necessary to be set to zero,
however, it is important that it is kept small all the time.
There is so much power in just being yourself!








Rajesh,
This is so TRUE.
There are many things that matter for one to be better and free - but this I think tops all.
Regards,
Manish
Rajesh,
I have a different take on Facade Diff. An individual can attempt to make changes in their behavior in order to improve/change themselves. For that same reason, he/she may put on a different facade, practice that over and over and make a transformation and ‘become the image’ that he/she projects. This is +ve Facade Diff. For example, if one wants to get promoted to the next level, begin acting as though you are already in that role and demonstrate your capabilites to stake a strong claim. On the other hand, a person who puts on a different persona for personal/selfish reasons or when faced with difficult circumstances is an example of -ve facade diff. Being oneself may not always work. Can a shy, retiring individual be himself and thus try to become adept at socializing/public speaking? I doubt it, unless they start thinking +vely and acting as though they aren’t their usual self. Thoughts play a signficant role in making and transforming one. Speaking of thoughts, check out my blog on thought mgmt at http://emmmission.blogs.com/mmm_bogglingblogs/
Sincerely Manoj
Rajesh,
Simple explanation of a powerful message. always you make the difference on the way of expression.
Thank you
Rajaguru
Manoj,
Your link on your comments, did not go through.
[...] I can’t write about living without writing about myself. My life is my message. I am aiming for what Rajesh Setty calls ‘zero facade diff’. [...]